What is your overriding goal in life? What one goal is above all others? Do you know? Do you have one?
For me, this answer is clear and has been for over ten years. My goal is to be a happy and healthy person. Everything else comes secondary to that.
I have other goals, one of which is to be in happy and healthy relationships and another is to help others become happy and mentally healthy people, however, in my pursuit of these other two goals, I cannot let them them interfere with my primary goal. It just cannot happen.
This single issue is what I build my whole theory on how to live a happy and mentally healthy life and how to be in happy and healthy relationships upon.
My entire system is based on a simple premise. If my goal is to be a happy and healthy person than I must learn to identify and remove the obstacles to reaching that goal. Those obstacles will come in two forms. The obstacles we create, which is the vast majority, and the obstacles that others create for us.