Hi, I’m Diego Abrams of Triscele Life and Relationships.
The primary reason I started this company was that, after talking to literally thousands of people online for over 20 years, a startling pattern emerged. People would talk about their mental health states and their experience with therapy. Time and time again I would hear a similar story…
“I went to therapy after having a real hard time coping with X. After a year in therapy I quit. All I ever ended up doing was talking and them listening.”
“We spent a lot of time talking about why I do the things I do, but never seemed to figure out how to stop doing those things”
My own experience with therapy was identical. When my son was having issues, my ex thought that I should take him to a therapist. All we ended up doing is talking while she listened. Nothing was solved. No answers given. No solutions offered.
I thought – there just has to be a better way. I couldn’t believe therapists got paid to just sit there and take notes while someone else talked – the person without any answers or direction! What a waste of time. While talking about things can temporarily make oneself feel better by unloading. It is a long-term exercise without solution.
What could I do that was different? Me, the guy without formal training (I have done personal study of REBT and CBT therapies for going on twenty years). How could I go about helping where the so-called professionals fail?
To start, I wanted to teach, not just listen. Listening is great to get an idea of who it is I am talking to and understanding their dogmas and issues, but after that it’s time for them to learn. Learning requires homework, classwork and a commitment to the changing of habits.
I don’t offer any easy answers. I challenge my students. If they aren’t willing to change, then it isn’t going to work. I can teach them till I am blue in the face – and nothing will change. The people that I can help have to understand that what they are doing and what they believe works – doesn’t. They have to understand that what they believe to be true might instead be part of the problem. They have to come in with an open mind and a willingness to challenge their dogmas and question everything they have done to date and everything they have been told.
If they do that, if they are committed to forming new habits and thought patterns, then positive change will happen. They will start feeling better. They will start to understand how to have happy and healthy relationships. They will become the change they wanted when they started.
I offer a starting and end point to coaching. I don’t want them to have to need my coaching after a specific time, generally a year, but tapering off after 6 months. I am looking to help them create self-sufficiency, not a reliance on me, or anyone else.
Who can I help and under what circumstances? Absolutely anyone with any issues past or present. The conditions, again, are that they are willing to hear what I am teaching, be committed to change and they MUST do the work I give.
How do I start? I meet with the person that is looking for help. Think of it is a double interview. I am interviewing them to see if they are actually at a place to hear what I have to say and are going to do the work. If not, this isn’t right for either of us.
This is also their chance to interview me. Ask me questions. Get a feel for who I am and how I am going to interact with them. It is possible that even though they are ready to learn and do the work, I may not be the right person to teach them.
After our first meeting, if we both agree to go forward, we will set up a schedule for how often to meet, fees, and personal boundaries. For me, I take teaching people as part of my life. My students/clients will have my personal number and will be encouraged to use it in times of early crisis at any time, day or night.
I want my students to think of this as having somewhere to turn for answers at any time. I should be a part of their life for the time they are learning – and after, a mentor to help remind them of how to overcome obstacles long after.
For those that are reading this and are ready for change. Call me or write me.